Sage Bray Varon

What do you think of this statement?:

There is more to life than being an artist.

Do you agree? I’m betting you do. The answer is rather reflexive, logical. You know all about that work-life balance thing and the necessity of feeding your creativity with novel experiences. But even as you agree, is there not a little tug at your core? Does that statement sound a tad sacrilegious on some level?

If it does, you’re not alone in this conflicting state. Sure, we know there is much more to life than our work, and yet so many of us make our life about our creativity or career choices, sometimes to the detriment of our relationships, our joy, and even our health. This near abandonment of the rest of our lives may not be a constant issue but, I think for most all of us, it is a pitfall we find ourselves in way too often.

Why do we do this and how can we avoid sacrificing our family and social lives for our creative work?

 

The Trap of Identity

I once dated a musician that, when asked what he did, would say he was a construction worker. It was true that, by day, he worked a construction job, but his passion was music. He would spend most of his evenings and all weekend on his keyboard, writing songs.

But why, when someone asked him to define himself through his work, did he choose to be seen as a construction worker? Because that’s what he did to pay his bills.

The kind of culture most of us live in pushes us to define ourselves by how we make money. This leads us to equate the importance of our activities with the monetary success of them. We come to believe, somewhere deep down inside, that if we’re not making money at something, then it must be a hobby and isn’t an important aspect of our life, or shouldn’t be prioritized.

I’d guess that for most of us, the contribution that our creative work makes to our life is not wrapped up primarily in money. But if we’re not making money at it, then we may feel like we have no right to identify ourselves as a writer, a sculptor, a musician, a dancer… an artist.

One of two things happens as a result of this view. We either don’t push ourselves creatively because we feel defeated and think of ourselves as imposters, or we push ourselves too hard, setting aside other important aspects of our lives. But, really, what allows us to call ourselves an artist? Just our driving desire to explore and create. Nothing more. No amount of money, awards, or accolades are needed to deserve that label. It doesn’t require all of your time either.

 

Our Not so Quiet Desperation

That desire to prove we are not imposters, along with the struggles to make enough money from our creative work to keep us going, is a formula for a life that could easily become out of balance. Alternately, these pressures can make a person give up, denying themselves a creative outlet. Neither makes for a fulfilling and balanced life.

So, where is that middle ground that allows us a fulfilling, creative life? It would be hard to give you the specific answer you need but, if you think this might be the case for you, start by acknowledging that things are out of whack—either you aren’t prioritizing your creative work enough to see growth and have fullfilling accomplishments, or you it is taking too much away from other parts of your life. Talk to the people that matter most to you and ask them how they see it from the outside. Their view could be very enlightening.

From here, I would suggest writing out what works in your life, what doesn’t, and what you wish was different. Map out how you spend your time and look for areas you can shift to include what’s missing. Put yourself on a schedule for work, creative and otherwise, as well as social, family, and down time, at least until you get used to making space for those things in your day. Delegate and ask for help. I’d also suggest that you talk this all out with someone to get a fresh view and to brain storm items you’d like to change but aren’t sure how.

Life is for living, and although our creative endeavors are a huge part of our journey in this life, they aren’t everything. It’s extremely important that you go see the world, talk to others, and gather experiences of all kinds. This is where inspiration and creative growth come from—outside, not so much inside, our creative spaces.